Texas Law
by acme54
Summary: Dean gets sent to prison for breaking some strange laws.


Motel room:

"Dean!"  
"Go away" the voice came out from under the covers.  
Sam opened the curtains. Letting in the early daylight.  
"Up and at em cowboy" He pulled the covers off from the feet of the bed.  
Covering his eyes with a hand he grunted what sounded like coffee.  
"We haven't got any milk"  
Swinging his legs off the edge of the bed he sat upright. "Guess we better get some then."

Parole hearing:

"Dean Winchester?"  
"Yes sir"  
"You have been brought before this board to determine if you have served enough of you sentence in good order and judge the possibility of early release."  
"Yes sir. I think I've got to serve my entire sentence. Make this valuable life lesson"  
"Are you asking to stay?"  
"Yes sir"  
"You have served…." He flicked through the file on the desk "ten hours of a… sixteen hour sentence" he looked at the guard to his left. "It says here he got a sixteen hour sentence?"  
"Maximum the judge could lay down. Broke three laws in one day."  
"It was four. But they couldn't prove ownership of the cow" Dean leaned back in the chair and put his feet up on the desk.  
Too confused to comment, the parole officer looked at the rest of the file.

Crime 1:

"Yeah right!" The lid from a beer bottle hit the ground.  
The crowd of twenty people murmured and tried to ignore the drunken loud mouth.  
"I promise that the streets will be safe to walk" the voice came through the speaker far too loudly for the small park. "Our tough on crime approach is already showing results"  
"Overpaid gas bag!" The man stood on the steps, taking three gulps of his beer.  
The Deputy adjusted his hat and went off to deal with the trouble maker.

Visiting time:

Dean nodded to the man on the other side of the grill. Sam folded himself into the small chair. He was shorter on the other side of the table than Dean. Dean smirked and looked down on his brother.  
"Jailbird" Sam saw the look of gloating in Dean's eyes "You make friends?"  
"It's not camp Sammy. It's prison. You don't make friends" Dean looked hard as nails. Caught the eye of another inmate, who gave him a thumb and finger heavy metal greeting. He returned it.  
Sam rolled his eyes. You could drop Dean in a snake pit and he would walk out with pets. "How you getting out of general population?"  
"I'm working on it"  
Sam shook his head. Got out of the chair and headed back to the outside world.  
"Sammy" Dean called out, his hand on the grill. "Will you wait for me?" he asked in the most dramatic soap opera way he could.  
"I don't know. I found a broom in the motel and it has more money than you. More muscles." Sam counted on his fingers. "A better haircut and a CD player"  
"You finally got that removed from your ass huh?"  
"Bitch"  
"Jerk"

Parole Hearing:

"You were in General Population for three hours before being moved to the High Security Wing?"  
"Nearer two hours" He took out a small paper bag. Inside it had gummy bears. He popped two in his mouth and offered the rest across the table. "Time moves slowly in the big house I guess"

Crime 2:

"I'll get it"  
"What part of "I'm paying" escapes your understanding?" Sam exclaimed  
"The part where you pay. If you order me a half fat double skinny latte, with a blueberry muffin again, then I will have to kill myself." Dean put his finger to his head and shot an invisible bullet into his skull.  
"Plain coffee and pie then?" holding his hands out, making a compromise  
Dean took out a quarter. "Heads I get the coffee, tails you get the pie"  
"Deal"  
The coin flipped off his thumb and hit the ceiling. On its way down it landed in a coffee cup on the counter. From behind them came a cough. Dean looked round and was face to chest with the biggest uniformed man he had ever seen.  
"You again?" it rumbled.  
"Looks like" Dean sighed and put out his hands for the cuffs.

Prison Cell:

Dean finished the circle on the floor. Reciting the latin from the notes he had made on the back of his hand. He had the wind knocked out of him as he was flung into a wall.  
"Son of a bitch!" he yelled. Picking himself up, he finished the exorcism. A cold wind filled the room and a bright flash of light had the guard at the door.  
"Dean?" she looked concerned.  
"Just had an argument with my cellie. I wanted to read and he wanted to knock my lights out. No need for concern"  
On her confused look, he turned on the charm. "So, Amy" Meeting her eyes, he smiled "what time you get off shift?"

Crime 3:

On the back seat of the car there is a stack of local papers. Detailing a series of unexplained deaths in the prison. Locked door. In maximum security. Inmates found scared to death. On the earliest paper is a headline,"Mass murderer Found Hung in cell!"  
In the passenger seat Dean sighed. "Nothing worse than the pissed off spirit of a psychopath"  
"Unless you count getting in there to exorcise the spirit"  
"Prison inspectors?"  
"Nope"  
"Guards?"  
"Nope"  
"Visitors?"  
"We don't know anyone in there Dean"  
"We could tunnel in"  
"Just take off your boots dude"  
"Aw man" resigned to his plan.  
Dean unlaced his boots, slipped one off. He rolled his sock off his foot. The next boot came off but the sock went flying towards his brother.

Sam swatted it back and it sailed over Dean's head and out the open window into the hotdog of a nearby Deputy.

* * *

Strange laws (mainly Texas) in USA:

-It's illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.

-It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

- A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit

- It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Ones I wanted to use but couldn't for all the giggling:

- Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.

- You may not sing in the bathtub.

And:

- Specifically in Ridley Park, you cannot walk backwards eating peanuts in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance.

Cos in my world, Dean has nut allergies. So there!


End file.
